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The next stop was the shoe department. We picked out four pairs of shoes with heels. Nothing extreme, just one and a half and two inch heels that provided good support. I had visions of mom with both her legs in casts if we bought the CFM (‘come fuck me’) shoes that were on sale.

I was loaded down with bags when I suggested, “Maybe we should get some sexy lingerie for your date with Mr. Right?”

“That’s an excellent idea Teddy.” Mom headed off to the lingerie department with me trailing behind hauling nine shopping bags. Mom was perusing the displays when a cute sales associate approached and asked if we needed any help. Mom being mom said, “I need sexy lingerie that will be attractive to men.”

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